Monday, November 21, 2011

Ode to a Bathroom

When we travel (now that I live in bathtubless Denmark....insert violins here.....), the most important thing to me is that my hotel room has a tub. Sometimes I am lucky....sometimes, not.


However when I travel in Europe, sometimes I get TWO SURPRISES when I enter the hotel room as I did last week in Valencia, Spain. 


First--no tub. 
Second-- another doggone bidet. 


Seriously. 
I think of myself as a pretty culturally-adept gal... I know how to do things "when in Rome" no matter how COUNTRY (aka tiny bit redneck) I am at home.... HOWEVER, every time I went to the bathroom in my hotel room this past week, this lovely porcelain creature sat there directly across from me, WILLING ME to try it. Did I? OF COURSE NOT because 


1) although they gave me an instruction card for how to open the electronic blinds on the window, there was NOT such a card for this thing (there is NEVER a manual for this and I am NOT ABOUT to die of a heartache in a hotel room and have the last google search they find on my computer be "how to use a bidet"


and


2) Even if I could somewhat imagine how this works, it does NOT look comfortable, easy or possible. Nope. NOT IN THE LEAST.


So today's post is ODE TO A BIDET because from me, a blog post is all this porcelain god will ever get.  Is it just me??????? Am I really THAT much of a redneck??




13 comments:

Amy said...

I am right there with ya as redneck as they get if that is what you call people who don´t use a bidet! We had one of these in our apartment in Rome and I sat next to it for an entire week and never once tried it- didn´t even think to try it...I am like you, wouldn´t know where to begin and it looks terribly uncomfortable and think if it spurts water straight up and you aren´t on it correctly, there would be water everywhere and a big mess and you´d have to explain how redneck you really were because you couldn´t figure out this thing every European seems to know and be ok with!!! ;-) Nope...the good ol´toliet will do just fine for me!!!! :-)

Michael Carøe Andersen said...

Haha! I think in the late 70s there was a fad in Denmark with getting bidets installed in new bathrooms. I remember my parents neighbors having one. I'm a bit country as well and I have never used one. I'm not in a hotel so I had to Google "How to use a bidet". There are some good laughs to be had trough that :)

Anonymous said...

Hvis bruseren sidder fast i væggen og ikke er "i snor" er det da mere end praktisk med en anordning der kan vaske nedenfra og op.

Nina Ø said...

Just read the nice article on wikihow.com on "How to use a bidet". I think I might try it if I ever see one. Meant to keep your panties or boxers clean. One thing I learned was that it is also for cleaning your feet. That is good information.

Jono said...

Living this far out in the boonies, I don't understand the concept of indoor plumbing. Who would want to do such a thing in the house??? Eewww! (no, not really)

Lindsay said...

I don't think it is just you. I would never even begin to attempt to use that thing. Although it must be quite an entertaining google search haha. PS: I ran into a couple great bath tubs in Ireland and have never been so happy!

TexaGermaFinlaNadian said...

Like you probably know, we have a Finnish version in our bathroom here. And then we just had one in our Riga bathroom, like a real one. So so gross. Almost as gross as you wanting to take a bath in a hotel bathroom! haha, just kidding. I just don't like baths. I am the weird one ;)

ladyfi said...

Love the idea of a bidet... but have only tried one out once or twice... Give me a real hot power shower any day.

Mads and Kelli said...

Nina..had no idea it was for feet, too!! I wish I had known! :-)

Heidi said...

I am googling it right now. I will arrive informed and probably still not use it.

Megan said...

even if i knew how to really use one of these, i would never do it.

PiNG aka Patti said...

I've seen them too but have never used one and like you, have no idea HOW to use one!

Alex said...

I am NOT ABOUT to die of a heartache in a hotel room and have the last google search they find on my computer be "how to use a bidet")

I almost wet myself laughing when I read this.

There is no way I could use one of those! I would be totally skeeved out.