Monday, June 20, 2011

#10... DISTANCE

Like:
DISTANCE from DENMARK:
I like how close I live to so many wonderful countries and so many places from history. In fact in my eighteen months living in Denmark, I was lucky enough to travel to nine different countries...


Sweden, Norway, Germany, Poland, France, England, Scotland, Holland, Luxembourg... Some by plane, some by ferry, some by car. In fact I learned that I could drive to places like France and Luxembourg faster than I could drive from one end of Texas to the other. Living in Europe gives an expat so many opportunities to experience all those things and places that we grew up reading about.... 


Dislike:
DISTANCE from DENMARK:
I completely dislike how far I am from my family in the US, especially right now.
Every day since I moved I miss Jess. We fly back and forth often and talk/text every single day, but I still miss her. Terribly. But in the last 3 years she and I have learned how to deal with the distance and keep our relationship as strong as it was before I moved. 


However right now, I really FEEL those 5000 miles that are between Dallas, Texas and Herning, Denmark.  Most of us know that living life as an expat means that we cannot just jump on a plane and fly back every time our family has an emergency, but sometimes knowing that in your head and reminding your heart of it are two very different things.


At the end of January my dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. My sister and I were able to fly back and be with my parents during the initial visits to the doctor and then both of our families were able to be with my parents in April when we all met in Savannah, Georgia for a week...so I know how lucky I am that in 3 months, I was with my dad twice.
But right now, as he starts on the next leg of this awful journey, I truly HATE the distance between Texas and Denmark.


The doctors removed the tumor on his esophagus in early May and all of us thought that the worst was over; however, during the surgery, they discovered that the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. So now, this week, he starts another round of chemo-- much more intense and more aggressive than the first round. 


And now is when I need to be there. To help him. To help my mom. To hang out and just BE there. But I live 5000 miles away. And right now, those 5000 miles feel like 5 million. So no matter how many awesome places I get to visit and experience while living in Europe, the ONLY place I want to be right now is Fairview, Texas.

3 comments:

Megan said...

I'm really sorry to hear your dad is having to endure such a scathing illness...and I know it breaks your heart to not be closer :( I really wish the best for you and your family :(

American in Norway said...

Oh Kell... I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Are you going to get to go over this summer? xx sending prayers your way-

Lindsay said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad! Nothing is worse than being so far away from family during such a difficult time. I know being there in spirit just isn't the same, but I am sure your family can feel your presence that way even though you are so far away!