Thursday, October 18, 2007

living within the system....

I have wanted to make this post for several days, but just could not find the words. You know how you can tend to wallow in your own self pity to the point that you cannot see the forest for the trees??? Well that has been my week.. but tonight... as I sit here with a migraine headache pounding through my skull, I think I have found my perspective...... I have found my words.

I have dedicated my life for the last 15 years to public education. To making the children of this state feel that they had someone on their side. To making sure that the teachers of this state feel that they had someone on their side. And now, in the midst of a system that does not seem to be "about the children" or even "about the teacher", I finally have clarity.
And the name of my clarity is RELEASE..........

As I watch people, that are putting things in place throughout the bowels of public education for sometime of perverted personal gain (also known as small dick syndrome), instead of for the betterment of our children and our teachers, I am sickened. As I listen to a president that I elected talk about this bullshit of "leaving no child behind", I am sickened. As I watch school districts in my own state that incredible, kid-centered people have built begin to crumble at the hands of others who have personal agendas instead of kid agendas, I am sickened. As I see the immoral acts of men being done under the guise of public education, again I am sickened. But as I am sickened, I am released.

I worried for a little that I would not be able to leave education. As I began looking into going to law school last year, I thought "how can I leave public education?" (Actually I think I was thinking "how will public education survive without me?!" Narcisstic, I know!!! LOL) And then now, as I have thought over the last few months about moving to Denmark and getting a job/career in a field OTHER than education, I worried about being able to affect change in this new world where I found myself. But my worry has dissipated............

I have been released.
I am free to go.
I will be moving to Denmark and I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am making the right choice. Mads told me today that he knows I will find a job/career in Denmark where I can touch lives the way I have done as an educator...... And I agree with him. I agree with him wholeheartedly.

Right now, though, there is a quote that continues to reverberate within me as I must live this life for the next 7 months and 3 weeks.....
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"... well, I am a good woman and I don't intend to let evil win..........
not as long as there is fight left in me. And not as long as I have a man, 5000 miles away, who loves me unconditionally and who is waiting to bring me home.

6 comments:

Nichole said...

I admire your commitment to education. Whatever it is that you end working here in Denmark, will be lucky to have you...and your school in Allen, will always be lucky to have had you.

journeyinfinite said...

Think about:

How many innovative programs that have affected students positively have been undertaken and grown at LFC since you have been in charge...

How far ahead of others in the district has Lowery been in implementing new programs...

You don't fear the unknown.

Wherever you place your focus better be ready to handle a white hot blast of energy!!!

You have inspired me to be the best teacher I can be...even within the game...

Ellen and Sharon said...

When you have left a postive mark on teachers, staff and students at a school -- no matter what the "system" tries to do -- it can never take that away.

Best of luck to you in Denmark. We see the same glow in your eyes that we saw in Nichole's when they knew they were going "across the pond"!

Mrs. Holmes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Holmes said...

I find myself looking to the Phoenix 3/4 syllabi for guidance and wisdom here:

What has shaped you thus far?
How do people cope with the effects and affects of great adversity?
Are words ever enough?
Are some things better left unknown?
What are the consequences of inaction?
In the end, does it really matter how we live our lives?
What do you know for sure?

Of course, the answer to some of those questions is obvious... but there's a lesson in the middle of this quagmire... find it!

The Crazy Cowgirl said...

A great leader paves the way for others to continue the fight after they are gone. You have done that by filling the Lowery staff with amazing people and by training them with your passion and zeal. I know the road ahead after you leave is not going to be an easy one, but I look at the people I have with me to continue on your legacy and I know that together, we will fight the bureaucratic B.S. as long as we are able...because we believe in the direction you have given us.