I thought that I already had a pretty good handle on this, but after the events of today, I can honestly say that "I GET IT!"
Today has been a rough day.... hell, the last 2 months have been rough months. After a bad mammogram in July...followed by a bad mammogram in August, Mads and I have had to sit and wait for three weeks...waiting for the magical date of my impending stereotactic biopsy. He and I have had our own dose of reality that no one should ever have to experience. But a dose of reality is just what we have had and I can say that it has brought us closer together and made our love for one another grow stronger and stronger.
Now about this whole notion of friendship...not many people in my "circle" knew about what was going on, but the ones that did have been more attentive and more caring toward me over these weeks than I ever dreamed possible. The really cool thing is that they did it in a "Kelli-kind of way"... They all know me well enough to know the kind of attention and caring that I would want and the kind that would send me running. They have been amazing, but not pushy. They have been loving, but not mushy and they have been THERE for me, but not in a suffocating way. I am blessed. I already knew that, but this experience has just validated that.
I have also discovered something about love and relationships throughout this horrific experience. If the man I claim to love is not my very best friend, then we are doomed. Our relationship cannot grow to the level that it should if true, unadulterated friendship is not part of it....and I can report (god, that is such a Kelli way of saying it!) that "we got it"... We have an incredible love, like I have never experienced before . A love that I never even knew to be possible. A love that showed patience for me while I went through healing and self-discovery this spring and I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is a love that SURROUNDS our friendship and a love that is SURROUNDED by our friendship. WOW.... it makes me speechless.
So, I am happy to report that as of right now, 7:02PM on Monday, September 17, 2007, I have no idea if what they pulled out of my left breast today is cancerous or not, but I HAVE THE GREATEST FRIENDS ON THE PLANET and I am loved.
My hope is that anyone who reads this can say the same. It is a feeling like none other. Even in the face of the worse news possible, I know that I can survive anything because of the people that surround me on a daily basis. And yes, life is STILL DAMN GREAT.